Something in Your Visage
by Folded Papers
Summary: An unpremeditated affair has caused its partaker guilt, enough to drive them apart. As Byakuya slinks deeper into the shadows, Kenpachi dives in to reach out for him. Rules, conscience and love all contribute a part in this play. They keep on struggling.
1. Chapter 1

"I do not believe that that is the best solution, Sou-taichou. The threat that is brought to us by the ever growing number of rebels in Rukongai is best settled in a military manner, and soon too. In fact, the sooner the better –"

"What d'you think those people are, Kuchiki? Putting them on the slaughtering block like pigs –"

"You amaze me, Zaraki-taichou. I have yet to see you in such light, prioritizing others' lives. I, for one, have always thought that bloodletting and suffering feed your enjoyment –"

"Yeah – and I'll watch with glee as _your _blood is spilt by my –"

"Enough!"

Yamamoto had struck his staff hard against the wooden floor. His stern voice, laced with slight impatience and anger emanated in the spacious room that was his – First Division's – meeting room where ten other Captains stood quiet before him. Nobody spoke for a while, not daring even to draw breaths until Yamamoto resumed his speech.

"Kuchiki-taichou, Zaraki-taichou, do remember your place in this chamber. There is a time for worthwhile arguments but not now, and never do we seek the need to have two upstanding Captains bicker shamelessly before an audience. Consider this a fair warning before I throw the both of you out of our company."

Shunsui, still donning his gaudy pink overall quickly took charge of the mood and said jovially, "Now, now, Yama-jii… don't get so angry over something petty like this…"

Kuchiki Byakuya stood his place and closed his eyes, ignoring Shunsui's effort to calm things down or Ukitake's advice about keeping a cool head. He was trying his hardest to keep a straight face, not wanting to betray his brewing dislike and annoyance for the taller man who was standing opposite of him, equally silent. Zaraki Kenpachi was probably simmering in his silent fury but far from disguising it, he let his eyes pierce the young nobleman, willing as much detest he could harbor to channel into the gaze.

Only, not once had Byakuya looked at Kenpachi.

The matter regarding the onslaught of commoners in certain areas of Rukongai was brought to a halt when a messenger dropped news about another rebellion in District 49 of Inazari. Captain of Seventh and Tenth Division were dispatched to handle the situation and the meeting was adjourned till further notice.

The Captains filed out of the chamber and Kenpachi made it a point to put as much distance as he could between himself and Byakuya. His hand that was itching towards his zanpakuto might just slip and make its way to Byakuya's pulsing jugular.

"Calm down, Zaraki," a voice said.

Kenpachi looked back as the little bells dangling from his hair jingled in the air. It was Ukitake who had addressed him and his eyes were deep with concern. Kenpachi caught hints of wariness as well – then again it would be foolish to let your guard down in the presence of Zaraki Kenpachi.

"What is it now?" he asked none too politely.

Ukitake was calm, even when his attention went to Kenpachi's unnamed zanpakuto.

"Remove your hand from your zanpakuto. It isn't wise to unsheathe it amongst comrades."

And Kenpachi obeyed, though somewhat surprised that his fingers really did find their way to the blade. He never really meant to raise it against the other man.

"You hate Byakuya to the extent of killing him?"

Kenpachi hated the expression etched on Ukitake's visage. He was clearly calculating Kenpachi's reply, probably trying to decipher his running thoughts too. Was he trying to read him? Was he trying to _understand_ him?

"Killing him when he has his back turned against me? D'you take me for a spineless coward, Ukitake?"

Ukitake did not reply. He let Kenpachi turn his heels and walk away from him and the conversation, but when the latter reached the majestic door frame, he stopped and said, "I'll admit, I do want to fight that little snob, and if he does die, it's only because he's too weak."

-----

Yamamoto never called for another meeting with all the Captains. Soifon and Shunsui were summoned pretty often to the chamber and it seemed that the matter of dealing with the rebellions was left to their divisions. The uninvolved divisions' daily activities were less eventful with the exception of the Fourth's, what with numerous counts of casualties and injuries on the battlefield. That gave Kenpachi plenty of time to train his men up, toughening them, preparing them for future battles – whether they may or may not occur would be another story, but they better happen just for the sake of it – while Sixth Division was up to something else. He heard news of Byakuya's special training from Yachiru who went there to stockpile snacks.

"Bya-kun really wants them to be good at sword fighting! And they're having so much fun swinging their zanpakuto – Ken-chan might want to join them! Looks fun…"

Kenpachi found himself marching to the Sixth Division headquarters the minute those words left Yachiru's mochi-filled mouth. Once he reached the doors, without restrain he flung them open, creating much ado among several men who were conveniently practicing their sword-wielding skills at the courtyard. Kenpachi strode to one of them – the poor guy was shaking furiously his knees were knocking against each other – and seized the front of his uniform.

"Where's your Captain?" Kenpachi snarled into the frightened face.

"I… I'm not sure… he just left for battle… took the rest of the able men with him –"

Kenpachi tossed him aside and balled his fist. He was too late.

-----

Three days later, there was a night party organised at the Sixth Division headquarter. Much to Kenpachi's dismay, he was actually _invited. _At least if he was not, he would not have to tax his brain, forcing it to think of a rather reasonable excuse _not _to attend it. He was not one for grand functions – no matter how much or good the sake they serve – and whatever Yumichika and Ikkaku say would not make him budge from his decision.

"Come on, taichou! The food! The sake!"

"Yeah, of the best quality!"

"And unlimited!"

Kenpachi yawned and waved his hand dismally in Yumichika and Ikkaku's hopeful faces. "You guys go then."

"You sure you don't want to go?"

"Yeah… tell them whatever if they asked."

So his Third- and Fifth-seat officers left. Everyone in his division would be attending of course, seeing how they never got tired of drinking… Yachiru too would be gone for the night. There would be suitable snacks and beverages for her and Hitsugaya-taichou, the underage…

That meant he was all alone in the dark, solemn headquarter. He had the moon for company still, the moon that was shining so brightly and complete, hanging complacently in the night sky before the sun chases it into hiding upon dawn…

"Excuse me, is anyone here?"

Kenpachi started at the greeting and almost jumped out of his skin. He had let his guard down and when his eyes raked upon the appearance before him, he cursed inwardly.

"Kuchiki Byakuya."

Byakuya seemed to be just as shocked but he hid it better than the taller man. Kenpachi sat back on the wooden floor and slapped himself mentally for not being able to sense a newcomer's presence. What the hell was he doing – just a bit of daydreaming and he had lost touch of his surrounding! He could be dead if it was someone else sneaking behind him. Hell, he might be better off dead. It was utter disgrace to be walked in by Kuchiki Byakuya and not realize it.

He looked up at the still standing figure and cocked an eyebrow at the sight of a porcelain jar Byakuya was gripping. He caught the latter's eyes and noticed the somewhat lost look he had. Kenpachi motioned for the other to sit down.

Or maybe the head of Kuchiki clan was too noble to sit on the floor, sans cushions or golden thrones –

But Byakuya took his seat casually beside Kenpachi. There was a grace to his movements, almost fluid-like, and very much uncanny if not out of place in the Eleventh Division headquarter. The content of the porcelain jar sloshed and Kenpachi grinned.

"Sake?" he asked expectantly.

"Yes."

That alone had sparked many other curious questions but Kenpachi decided to save them for later; right now, getting the sake out of the jar and into little cups was most important. He whipped two out from his pocket – Byakuya was slightly surprised that Kenpachi actually carried cups with him everywhere he goes – and filled them up. Must be one of the best sake brewed in Seireitei; the fragrance complemented its taste so well even Kenpachi sighed sated after his first sip.

"Is this what they serve at the party? Ikkaku and Yumichika'll have their kicks from this…"

"Why are you not at the party?" Byakuya asked suddenly, his cup of sake untouched. He too was gazing at the moon, the gentle glow reflected off his black irises.

"That's a rather stupid question."

Byakuya finally directed his attention to Kenpachi. "It is, depending on your answer."

"What if I say I don't like grand functions like that? Can't keep my eyes off the floor and sake, see –"

"That's not the correct answer," the younger man interrupted softly.

So he knew. Kuchiki Byakuya bloody knew what was going on his mind. Congratulations on that, but Kenpachi was not going to delve any deeper. He was content with just his sake and Byakuya's reluctant company.

"You don't agree with my way of handling the rebellions, do you? Given the chance, you would have campaigned for a more peaceful solution instead of coming down hard on them, as what I had done three days ago. This is why you keep yourself away from the party that celebrates a victory won on blood spill and deaths."

Kenpachi could not pretend not to have listened to Byakuya. The accusations were clear as crystal, right as rain. That was what made it felt worse, somehow.

"So?" he said simply.

Byakuya did not speak. The sake in his cup swirled slowly.

"What, too shocked to learn another side of me? Yeah, I didn't like the way you handle those people, but this ain't my right to judge, is it? It worked. The rebels are defeated. That's all that matters."

"Not to you."

Once again the night was wrought in daunting silence. Kenpachi was no fool – he knew what Byakuya was going to ask. He probably had a set of questions racked up neatly in his brain before he came to the Eleventh Division tonight, questions that he needed answers. But what for, Kenpachi did not know – and he was not interested in knowing either. Maybe it was to satisfy his selfish curiosity? To know why someone as bloodthirsty as the Demon Zaraki Kenpachi would even think of sparing the pitiful lives of traitorous rebels?

"Why don't you be more straightforward?" Kenpachi said bluntly, draining his sake in one go. "You didn't come here tonight to drown me in sake."

Byakuya turned to the moon. "I wanted to hear your story."

Kenpachi almost spluttered good sake down his front. "Excuse me – my _story?_ That's enough sake for you I think –"

But Byakuya had not touched his cup. Not even a small sip. So he was not really drunk…

"Kuchiki, you're not going to stare holes into your cup are you? You're missing on the good stuff if you give this a pass, really."

So Byakuya brought the cup to his chin. The rim touched his lips and _very _unwillingly, he poured the sake down his throat. A slight grimace flashed on his visage but he recovered quickly, putting the emotionless masquerade back on.

Kenpachi did not miss the change in Byakuya's expression though.

"Never had sake?"

Annoyed somewhat, Byakuya replied, "The taste needs some time to get accustomed to."

Rather vague, Kenpachi thought. But he remembered what Byakuya had said before he prompted the younger man to drink his sake, and remembered how ridiculous that request had sounded coming out from Byakuya's mouth. Apparently the nobleman had not forgotten.

"Certainly there is something that causes you to adopt such a diplomatic way of thinking."

"You're curious, you mean," Kenpachi decided to simplify matters.

"Yes."

But it was a pretty long story. Not really engaging too… he was sure Byakuya would be bored with it in two minutes and be gone from the compound in five. He talked about how it was living in the district of Zaraki, and Inazari where he had stayed briefly during one of his traveling, and how food and clean water were extremely scarce and therefore, pricey commodities. When he spoke about kids growing up to be thieves in such circumstances, he chanced a glance at the other and was silently glad to see Byakuya still immersed in his tale. He went on to how the more talented ones grow to become assassins and robbers and saw a flicker of distrust in Byakuya's eyes.

"You can't really blame them," Kenpachi said.

"They are inflicting harm on their own accord for their own benefits. Impoverishment does not give anybody the privilege to do wrongs."

"And what privilege do _we_ have to kill these people like animals? If there's one thing we all have in common, Kuchiki, it's our right to live as humans!"

"And you wish to spare the lives of these few hundred even if they're about to wipe off half the population of Inazari from existence?"

"'Course not! What – that is beyond –"

"Then if you do not wish to eliminate the core cause of the threat, what do you propose we do?"

A porcelain cup was slammed hard onto the wooden floor.

"Don't you see it, Kuchiki? These people don't kill for the fun of it. Neither would they harm others if they could help it! Can't you see the difference in lifestyles of those in Seireitei and Rukongai? When you rob them off their necessities, you push them to desperation! They have no choice but to take what should be theirs from others, and the cycle doesn't end!"

"Chaos is only caused by the absence of rules and codes of honor –"

"You speak so easily of rules… the rules we place upon them will doom them to their deaths if they stood by them!"

Byakuya held his retort. He still could not fathom how the other man's mind worked. How could someone justify blatant cruelty? The innocent lives that were lost… they were not given the chance to protect themselves! The rebels just came in and took and destroyed. They snatched away everything. And yet Kenpachi could still put the blame on Seireitei. What they were working at was to instill rule and order into the disarray regions.

Kenpachi must be out of his mind.

"What, now you're thinking I'm losing it?"

"… Yes."

"Thought so," the taller man chuckled. "I won't declare them innocent and pure as babies, but we're at fault, there's no denying."

Byakuya helped himself to another cup of sake. He himself seemed to be surprised by his act.

"But there's nothing we could do."

This, Kenpachi had to admit. He lay back on the cool surface of the floor and let the moon illuminate his gaunt face. The scars gleamed in the night.

"You wish to erase poverty from Inazari. You wish to end the suffering in Rukongai."

"Yeah."

"But there are greater powers and minds at work, nothing we can do about it."

"I know."

He was only taking out his dissatisfaction and frustration at someone. Kuchiki Byakuya just happened to be an easy way out since he was the one in charge of the attack force three days ago. But Kenpachi was not childish enough to mull over something he had no powers over. And he knew it was going to stay like that – the ways of living in Rukongai.

"You look troubled, Zaraki."

"Nah," Kenpachi dismissed quickly. "I thought karma was bullshit, but that can't be right, can it? I used to think heaven and hell was crap, and look where I ended up in!"

A smile graced Byakuya's features and Kenpachi drained another cup of sake. This had definitely never happened to him, sitting quietly with another person, talking things over civilly while drinking sake. If Ikkaku and Yumichika and the rest of his division were here, they were going to be as raucous as possible, as lewd and crude as men could be. But he could get used to this. Byakuya could make a good drinking companion, only the man did not really drink as much as Kenpachi would like.

"Why d'you always do that?"

In between drinks, Kenpachi thought he caught Byakuya laughing at one of his jokes. It was not a spectacular one, quite dirty actually, but he had actually understood the punch line and just as the first "ha" slipped, he caught himself and it dwindled to a polite smile.

"Do what?"

"That, pretending nothing in this world amuses you!" Kenpachi filled both their cups and the sake disappeared quite quickly down his throat. "I say if you wanna laugh, you laugh. You wanna cry, you cry! There isn't anything wrong with it!"

Byakuya merely whispered, "Wrong with what?"

"Being human of course!"

Technically it did not sound correct considering they were co-existing in the afterworld, but nevertheless they were still entitled to their own emotions and thinking. Surely being dead did not mean surrendering the ability to _feel_. Then it would be worse than dying.

Byakuya however drained his cup and placed it down on the floor. Kenpachi sat up more straightly and peered from over the rim of his sake-filled cup at the other Captain.

"You're going back to the party?"

He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so. "No. This is enough drinking for a night."

He proceeded to getting up but staggered on his feet. Just when one of his knees collided painfully with the hard ground, Kenpachi, with the quickness of someone who had not consumed alcohol, held the other man's forearm firmly, holding him in place.

"Sorry."

Kenpachi was now standing and holding the smaller form up, his sake lay forgotten. Byakuya tried to push another step forward only to end up on his knees. Then he gave up walking and let Kenpachi fuss over him.

"You're not going anywhere in this state. Can't even stand properly, seriously…"

A strong arm wrapped around the younger man's waist and with a mighty heave, pulled Byakuya up to his feet. He staggered still but Kenpachi tightened his hold. Inwardly he was wondering how much sake Byakuya had consumed, but he definitely had drunk much lesser than Kenpachi, yet going by his current state, Byakuya seemed to have down a truckload of it.

"Watch it, Kuchiki!" Kenpachi warned loudly when the other man was about to kick the jar of sake. "You're troublesome when you're like this – shouldn't have let you touch sake – oi!"

Byakuya had lost his footing and had tumbled unceremoniously onto the floor. To break his fall he had reflexively grabbed anything within his reach – and the only thing that happened to be within _his _reach was the unsuspecting Kenpachi. That was how the Captain of Eleventh Division ended up straddling the younger Captain, his scarred face merely inches from the other.

"The hell, Kuchiki?"

Byakuya looked away. The moon was again reflected in his dark eyes. Now that Kenpachi was closer, he thought he saw melancholy echoing within the depths of those irises.

"Am I, Zaraki?" he asked softly, much to Kenpachi's bewilderment. "Am I a bother, a nuisance?"

The taller man blinked once. Twice. Then he said gruffly, "'Course not, I was joking –"

Byakuya was tightening his grasp on the front of Kenpachi's robes. Great, Kenpachi groaned mentally. He took the wrists and tried to pry them from his clothes but Byakuya had them good in his vice grip. The younger man looked distraught and Kenpachi certainly did not like that look on someone as stoic as the head of the noble Kuchiki clan.

"What's wrong?" he found himself asking despite how awkward it sounded, coming from a person like him. But too late, the question slipped smoothly along his tongue and it left a bad aftertaste in his mouth. If his ruthless persona was still watching this scene, he would have yelled, "Get a grip, asshole. Only wimps cry when they're depressed."

Because Byakuya did look like he was close to crying, only his eyes held as much tears as a scorching desert would water.

Then it hit Kenpachi that this was something he had yet to see of Byakuya. This would probably explain the unsettling knot in his stomach as he studied Byakuya's visage. The pale features were not frozen and unreadable; under the dim moon beam, Byakuya looked alive. Maybe not so cheerful, but alive. And before he knew it, he was leaning forward, planting a chaste kiss on Byakuya's forehead.

Byakuya must have wanted to say something – his shell-shocked face said that much – but the words died in his throat. Kenpachi detected no resistance, so he kissed the side of Byakuya's lips. He tasted traces of sake there.

"Zaraki…"

Byakuya pushed against the other Captain.

"This is it, Kuchiki."

Amidst the confusing sentence, Kenpachi dug his nose into the crook of the younger man's neck, inhaling the vague fragrance of sake and something else that was purely Byakuya. His hand slipped into the parting of the black robes Byakuya was donning, feeling warm skin.

"Zaraki, what… are you doing…"

"This is what it means to be human, Kuchiki." He began to lay open mouthed kisses along the side of Byakuya's exposed neck as his palm traveled across the expanse of the smooth chest. His finger raked carelessly over a nipple and Byakuya hissed. He tried to push at the hovering bulk again but to no avail.

"To feel… emotionally… physically…"

Deft fingers found the fastening and pulled at it, letting the black robe fall apart. The moonlight was kind on Byakuya's pale skin. Kenpachi's caresses returned. Not a spot that the eye could see was left untouched. The younger man twitched but stayed put, yet when Kenpachi's hand descended to his inner thigh, Byakuya rolled to his side with his back against the older man.

"You… have to stop, Zaraki."

"I won't."

The hand went to the stiffening shaft and a soft sigh escaped Byakuya's lips. Kenpachi never quite expected the reaction but encouraged by it, he massaged the soft flesh, sliding it gently upwards, then downwards, working it into a rigid mass. Byakuya no longer protested but his breaths were still silent, if not noticeably quickened. He did bit back a cry when Kenpachi began fingering his opening.

"Show me your face, Kuchiki. This is proof… that you're still here… feeling…"

Soft gasps and grunts filled the space with Kenpachi pleasuring his front and probing his back. When the rhythm began to pick up its pace, Byakuya's hip began to tremble and when he hit his peak, his back arched into the larger frame that his buttocks rubbed tantalizingly against the front of Kenpachi's crotch. Then he lay on the ground, his chest rising and falling as air replenish his lungs, his body suddenly weary.

But Kenpachi paid no notice and plunged. That was when Byakuya cried in shock and pain and his world fell into darkness. He knew someone was tapping on his cheeks, calling his name, shaking his shoulders, but he did not heed him. His eyes fluttered open for a second, taking in the sight of the man whose body had just been united with his. He could not hear the question; he knew the other man was asking him something… but he nodded nevertheless. He held tighter, not knowing what was really taking place, but he was quite, if not acutely aware of Kenpachi sliding in and out of him.

But that was all he could manage. Even before Kenpachi found release, Byakuya slithered once more into dimness, unknowingness, nothingness.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning came. Byakuya stirred under his sheets, wincing as light poked into his eyes. His room looked a lot brighter than usual when he woke up… but if the sun had gotten this high up in the sky…

He was suddenly very awake and jerked upwards to a sitting position. His futon became even more crumpled, his pillow flew a short distance, the sheets strewn over his legs haphazardly and curse words sailed fluently from between his teeth. His eyebrows were knitted together and there was wetness at the tail of his eyes.

There was also an absurd amount of pain shooting up his back from his –

Byakuya groaned audibly. His head started pounding as memories from yesterday's rendezvous with a certain Captain jogged along. But whatever he was feeling, confusion inclusive, could wait; he should be in his headquarter roughly two hours ago. So he got up, swayed since his lead like legs were not giving much cooperation and worse of all, he felt something trickling between his thighs.

He was angry, he was tired, he was doubtful. But his personal vendetta against Zaraki Kenpachi could wait. Duty before self-interest, he reminded himself. Duty first, always.

He dressed quickly, pulling his hair into his kenseiken and wrap the snow white shawl around his neck. In the mirror he saw a bluish mark just above his collarbone. As if it burned, his pale hand shot up to clasp at it, hiding it from view. His wrath for the other man was incinerating – so much so if Kenpachi were to appear before him, he swear he would ease his head off the shoulders with Senbonzakura.

-----

Renji had carried out his duty as Lieutenant of Sixth Division very well that day. In the absence of his Captain, he had instructed his men to continue perfecting their kidou ability – though the person in charge himself was atrocious at it – and by the time Byakuya made an appearance, all of them had progressed quite a bit. Renji greeted Byakuya as usual but not without a sweeping check from his Captain's head to toe. He wondered what had kept him this late.

After lunch, when half of the men remained in the courtyard to continue with their training while the other proceeded with mundane paperwork, someone walked into their midst. It was Renji who stepped forward to greet the newcomer.

"Good day, Zaraki-taichou. How can the Sixth Division help you?"

Kenpachi gave a once over at the compound. The people surrounding him were looking at him curiously, no doubt questioning the presence of another division's Captain in the middle of another division's headquarter at such a time. None dared to propose the question. And the person Kenpachi was looking for was not in the vicinity – he had half the mind to go back.

And waste all the effort to get here…?

Kenpachi grinned and Renji took a step back. Having served the Eleventh Division for a brief while under Zaraki Kenpachi, he knew what that maniacal grin mean. In a ringing, ordering voice Kenpachi yelled, "All right! I'm issuing an open challenge here! Anyone think you can beat me, step forward and we'll see!"

"Zaraki-taichou, really, you're taking this joke too far –"

"Am I now, Abarai? If the Sixth Division's having its men practicing sword-wielding, I'd like to be included as well. Why keep the fun all to yourself, eh?"

"But – Zaraki-taichou, you can't –"

"That settles it. Come on, who's got the balls to challenge –"

"I accept that challenge."

Heads turned and eyes darted to one direction. The familiar cool, collected voice raised the tension; unmistakably Kuchiki Byakuya's. Their Captain had just appeared in the courtyard, his eyes cold and neutral in the heated atmosphere. Renji motioned for the men to back out as Byakuya step forward, taking his place before Kenpachi. Renji began to protest, stating that there was no need to start another bout of battle after what happened in Rukongai but neither of the Captains was paying him much attention. When Byakuya unsheathed his zanpakuto, Renji resigned bringing the men to their senses and stood waiting along the wall where the rest of his division was.

"This is very unexpected of you, Kuchiki. I thought you don't like battling when there's no need for it."

"I can say the same. You have no reason to be here, yet here you stand before me."

"Who says I have no reasons to? I'm here to challenge your men."

"I repeat; you have no reasons to be here."

They both did not move an inch, merely glaring daggers into each other. Kenpachi looked deeper into his excuse and laughed – it did sound thick, someone of his caliber coming all the way to challenge Byakuya's underlings. But he could wave it off as being too desperate for a fight – to the extent of not caring if the opponent was really a sorry excuse for a fighter – but even that was a bit far-fetched considering the Eleventh Division headquarter and the Sixth's were miles apart.

Byakuya did not seem to want to put himself in the spotlight even though he knew he was the sole reason of Kenpachi dropping by. Suit himself, then.

"I'll be enjoying this fight, Kuchiki-taichou. Been waiting for a chance like this since forever."

With a flick of a wrist and a swish of his robe, Byakuya was gone, only to reappear directly behind Kenpachi, Senbonzakura pointing dangerously towards the latter's back. But it was parried and Kenpachi shunpo-ed away. The rest of the battle happened in flashes. Those with keener eyes could detect swift movements here and there, swords clashing before the fighters both disappear from view. But they were definitely still within the courtyard, exchanging blows and hits at such high speed. Renji was even more surprised that Kenpachi could keep up with Byakuya's momentum. As of now, only Flash God Yoruichi could top it. But just five minutes into the battle, Renji realised that his Captain's posture was slightly off. There was a discernible hunch in the way he stood. And when he darted forward to meet his prey, his steps were not as refined as his memory recorded.

But Byakuya was well aware of it all. And he suspected Kenpachi did too – the taller man had stopped attacking, instead he was merely defending every offense that was dished out by Byakuya. They might as well stop this bout – there was no point continuing if only one party attack and the other deflect, it would be never ending – but Byakuya did not care. He felt a lot better moving around like this; especially when the subject before him was Kenpachi, the man he swore to slaughter the moment he woke up this morning.

Just the mere remembrance of yesterday night magnified his rage and Byakuya's grip on Senbonzakura tightened. He charged, blinded by emotions and he saw the tip of Kenpachi's zanpakuto coming his direction. Reflexively his body twisted away from harm's way but –

There was a clash of swords. When the dust settled, all of Sixth Division saw not two, but three men standing stationary in the middle of the land. Kenpachi's sword was deflected so it was pointing at a shrub, their Lieutenant's Zabimaru was already in Shikai and was intertwined with Kenpachi's sword and Byakuya's blade had grazed the side of Kenpachi's thigh, shredding the robe but made no contact with his flesh. But it was Senbonzakura that was lowered first as its wielder collapsed to his knees, breathless and shaking on the spot.

"Taichou!"

Kenpachi released his zanpakuto and it clang onto the ground as Renji too sheathed his sword and crouched y his Captain. Kenpachi held Byakuya up by his upper arms, disturbed to find no vigor in the form. But Byakuya was quick to register who was holding him; he pulled himself away and shoved Kenpachi back, wincing as his back protested violently. The anger that had dissipated when he first thought he had injured the other Captain now returned in full force. He stood up shakily but the glare he gave the other was just as venomous as before. He only saw bits of Kenpachi's visage before Renji showed him the way out.

Byakuya did not want to acknowledge the utter shock and wretched look that was carved on Kenpachi's visage.

-----

Kenpachi knew Byakuya did not go to the headquarters the next day; Yachiru has asked for money to buy snacks since Byakuya was not in his office. He was curious – nothing would normally keep the orderly Captain from work – but not curious enough to just up and march into the division's courtyard, not after the fateful event in front of half of the division's members yesterday afternoon. But on the way to the onsen that evening, he crossed path with Renji whom, judging by his frown, had not forgotten the incident. Then again, who would?

"Zaraki-taichou," Renji greeted a little stiffly.

"Abarai. Nice to see you in the onsen these days."

"Right…"

They approached the counter together where an old woman was folding towels. As they queued behind another large group of customers, Kenpachi asked off-handedly, "How is Kuchiki? He didn't look too well yesterday."

Renji who had expected the question replied, "Fine, I guess… But Taichou isn't himself lately."

They finally reached the counter and paid the old woman some fees before claiming two sets of borrowed bath robes. Making their ways towards the changing room, Renji continued, "I didn't ask since he won't be answering anyway, but there's something wrong with the way he walk. Like there's a limp to it… we thought he was injured or something but he refused to go to the Fourth Division. We made him go back early yesterday."

"But he didn't come to work today?"

Renji shook his head. "I sent a hell butterfly to the Kuchiki mansion. A servant said taichou had locked himself in the family's ancestor room. Seems like he didn't come out for dinner and breakfast either."

The look of shock and wretchedness that had graced his features yesterday afternoon after Byakuya had collapsed on the ground now returned to his visage. It was lucky Renji had missed it.

-----

It was already nightfall when Kenpachi stack papers neatly on his desk. Ikkaku had dropped by just minutes ago, inviting him to a drinking party with a small cluster of colleagues. But he had said no – Ikkaku looked scandalized at the thought of rejecting an invitation to somewhere with sake – and he took leave soon after. The headquarters was submerged in stillness and it tossed Kenpachi back to memories of what happened three days ago; how he had Byakuya beneath him. Hell, it was surreal to think of it that way, that he had the proud Captain writhing beneath him… then Kenpachi dunked his head in his palms, failing to see blotches of fresh black ink on his fingers in the dimness. Byakuya had not exactly been writhing, had he? He was quite intoxicated by the time Kenpachi put his hand on him that he was not sure how many times the younger man had swerved in and out of consciousness before Kenpachi was done with him. And that was the problem, was it not? He was not sure if Byakuya had consented to their… deeds. Though it was damn well clear that Byakuya was not pleased, not after all the fiasco in the Sixth Division's courtyard. For a split second back then Kenpachi really thought Byakuya would stab him in the leg with Senbonzakura, but he was wrong. Then again maybe Byakuya had missed; he was ailing that time… but it was Kenpachi's fault to begin with!

All the thinking really made him even more confused, but there was one thing he was sure of – he owed Byakuya an apology and probably a good smack over the head.

So he blew the candle off, tucked the papers away in his drawer and made his way for the Kuchiki mansion. He hoped his late presence would not add more oil to Byakuya's sky-high blazing anger.

-----

"I'm sorry, Zaraki-taichou, but Byakuya-sama is not in his study chamber. I don't know where he is."

"Did you check his bedroom, then?" Kenpachi asked impatiently.

"The room is dark as well."

"Ah… maybe he's asleep… it _is _late after all…"

The attendant said nothing. He assumed the conversation was over, that the lord of the house was resting and the guest would have to wait till morning for an appointment, so he bowed Kenpachi out of the mansion. Kenpachi sighed and turned around to go back home. He was beginning to mentally map tomorrow's plans when a glimmer of oil lamp caught his attention. He stopped and peered into the darkness, and immediately he realised one of the chambers at the back of the mansion was still occupied. He thought it was weird since the only places illuminated were the central chambers. A silhouette of someone kneeling was rooted on the floor and Kenpachi inched closer to the walls, trying to get a better view. There were lines of wooden plaques on what looked like an elaborately decorated altar, incense was still burning despite the late hours, and white carnations gleamed ethereally in dainty vases.

That was the Kuchiki's ancestor room, the holy chamber where generations of the departed were honoured by their descendents.

Kenpachi suddenly remembered what Renji had told him at the onsen yesterday and he had a nagging suspicion that the kneeling figure was the man he came to see. So as quiet as a sleeping cat, Kenpachi reached for the top of the wall and leapt.

As he approached the weakly lit chamber, the clearer he could see the back of the kneeling form. He knew that posture; he knew that long, black hair even with the absence of the kenseiken and the shawl. Kenpachi stopped at the threshold of the room, not daring to put another foot forward – with all due respect, he supposed this place was prohibited to anyone non-family. But he knew his presence was already made known to the other man the moment his feet touched Kuchiki's ground.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Byakuya finally spoke, "You come at this hour with what news of grave importance, Zaraki-taichou?"

"I don't bring any news. This isn't about Seireitei or Gotei 13 –"

"Then we have nothing else to talk. Good night," Byakuya interjected smoothly, his hands that were resting on his lap now curled agitatedly. Kenpachi however did not move from his spot, neither was he hinting of breaching the perimeter of the ancestor room.

"Don't be a dick, Kuchiki. I want to talk to you."

"Get out."

Byakuya did turn a fraction towards the taller man. His gaze did not lose its lethality, but there were obvious hints of weariness and pallor in the face as if he had not seen the sun in days. Everything around Byakuya was somber – as somber as the man himself – and Kenpachi did not know how much of this solemnity would change once he gave Byakuya a piece of his mind but he would not leave without trying. So he returned the impressive glare at Byakuya and said, "I will once I'm done talking."

"I am not interested. Get out of my house, Zaraki."

That did it.

"Just listen, damn it! You're torturing people like this, you know that?" Kenpachi said loudly. "What the hell've you been doing all these while? Mopping around, crying probably – your men, Kuchiki, have you forsaken them? They're waiting for their Captain day after day, hell I'm sure your Vice is getting a lil bit freaked out by your disappearing act – and what have you done to right it? I see you kneeling before your ancestors begging for forgiveness – yeah right, what good will that do?"

He was gripping the door frame when he was finished. Byakuya stood up with his back stubbornly against Kenpachi.

"Done? Now get out."

"I'm sorry."

The frustration that was initially brimming in his yelling was no more. Kenpachi did not apologize with sheer tenderness – that would be disgusting – but there was no disguising the fact that he was deeply sincere with the words. Byakuya did not acknowledge it, nor did he choose to reject it outright, but the air in between the silent men was remarkably less onerous.

"There'll be a time and place for revenge or whatever nasty things you wanna do to me after what I did, but not now and not like this. You're letting your men down."

"You catch me by surprise again."

Byakuya turned towards Kenpachi. This time, the latter saw the other man's face fully, noticed how much that night had taken a toll on his body. The dead weight in his gut suddenly felt much heavier.

"You, who always try to get away from a Captain's responsibility, are reprimanding me for skipping off _my_ work? And in _my_ houseno less?"

"That's bullshit," Kenpachi shot indignantly. "I do my job fine, thank you. So maybe I push the housekeeping to Yumichika, but you gotta admit that job's for pansies."

Reminding Kenpachi that completing paperwork and written reports were no housekeeping was a lost cause, Byakuya thought. He sighed.

"I sent a letter to Sou-taichou, informing him that I won't be able to come to duty for a couple of days. I forgot to update my division on the news and my own attendants, apparently. So there's no need for all these hassle. I'll be going back tomorrow."

"Right… and you're still up this late? You'll be sleeping on the desk," Kenpachi smirked. Byakuya remained as grim and another thought came to him, so spontaneously he asked, "Are you… how're you feeling?"

Byakuya did not understand it. He quirked an eyebrow questioningly and Kenpachi cleared his throat.

"You didn't take leave just for fun, that's not you. Abarai said you weren't feeling well, so I thought I'd ask."

A faint tinge of pink crept on Byakuya's pale features. Kenpachi suddenly thought he did not have to ask that question and he faked a cough into his hand, hoping Byakuya could also pretend like he had not heard the question asked. But the younger man suddenly brushed past him and along the corridor. When Kenpachi seized his elbow, he pulled it away with such force Kenpachi was almost knocked off his feet.

"The hell, Kuchiki?"

The cold, unfriendly glare returned. "We'll speak somewhere else." Then his voice dropped to a whisper, "I will not sully her memory anymore."

Then he stalked off with Kenpachi hot on his trails. They vanished into a rather simple room, spacious and comfy; there was a Captain robe hanging by the wall, signifying Byakuya's ownership of the chamber. Byakuya did not bother lighting up candles. When he spoke, it held not much composure like what Kenpachi had heard in the ancestor room.

"You shouldn't have come, Zaraki. Not this day."

"Why not?" Kenpachi asked, clearly befuddled by the sudden change of event.

"It's her day… my wife's death anniversary."

Kenpachi felt like dissolving into a puddle of water and slop away from the mansion. But he waited, and he heard Byakuya say, "I cannot pretend what we did that night was nothing. But she's not here. I cannot make amendments." Even in the utter blackness, Kenpachi sensed Byakuya swirl around to face him. "I cannot do away with the guilt, Zaraki!"

It was so difficult to digest what had just been thrown in his face. If he could rewind time, if he could rewrite history, change the past. Kenpachi knew he would not be able to appreciate the agony Byakuya feel in his status, not when he himself had never and never will experience such a thing – for one, marriage. Kuchiki Byakuya was of noble kinship marked since birth, something Kenpachi resented. But maybe he could understand a little bit of Byakuya. He remembered saying this to him: _If there's one thing humans have in common, it's the right to live_. And Kenpachi still say damn straight it is, only if we live on a clear conscience.

So after all he had put Byakuya through, how could he do away with the guilt either?

"I would've felt better if you've taken me without consent, Zaraki."

"Outrageous!" Kenpachi said loudly, no longer giving a hoot to the sleeping residents in the manor. "I would never – what a thing to say –"

"I have to bear this weight throughout my life as Kuchiki Byakuya! Do you not understand the pain of betrayal, Zaraki? Maybe it'll feel better if I'm on the receiving end… instead of this…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Unlike you, I've sworn to commitment. For life… even if hers has ended. I cannot forgive myself."

"And you'd rather I take you one-sided? You think it's easier to push the blame onto me if I were the one sinning and you, a partaker by chance?" Kenpachi was close to hissing, word by word, uttered with contempt. "You rather condemn me to raping you so your conscience is clear? You're a fucking selfish bastard, Kuchiki. You think I don't know the pain of guilt? I'm as miserable as you are, asshole!" Then there was a brief pause.

"… Lower your blade."

For Byakuya had raised Senbonzakura at Kenpachi's eye level. He did not see that zanpakuto just now; did Byakuya keep it hidden under his robes?

"Now you want to kill me?"

Byakuya kept his eyes fixed on the other man. So much pain and sadness, and regret… Kenpachi yielded to look deeper.

"Or yourself?"

He did not wait for the answer. He reckoned he did not need one – death was never the solution. He side-stepped Byakuya and knocked him down to the floor, all of which happened so quickly Byakuya, whose turbulent emotions were steadily taking control, was quite dazed to have landed on his back with Kenpachi hovering above him. He was conscious of the position, the exact same in which he was rendered powerless; a moaning mess in the Eleventh Division headquarters not too long ago.

"You're not yourself. Just calm down and think things through like the responsible adult you are."

"I am not," Byakuya mumbled. "Not myself…"

"Damn right you aren't."

"If I were, you wouldn't be over me."

"Excuse me?"

Byakuya closed his eyes. "I'll have your head hanging at the Gate by dawn."

"Ah… that's assuring."

And then without thinking, without a warning, Kenpachi lowered his head and stole a kiss. A gentle one, one that Byakuya allowed. Feeling quite confident since his head was still perching on his neck, Kenpachi deepened his kiss, tasting the lips that were now missing of fine flavor of fragrant sake. But he did not complain as he let his tongue rove within Byakuya's mouth. No sake, but there was still something addicting to it.

"This is why… I'm not myself…"

Kenpachi understood. He felt the body beneath him reacting to every accidental contact. The heat that was rising from Byakuya, the sighs… when their chests meet as they lock lips again, Kenpachi was aware of the beating heart… Byakuya again, with him, at night…

"Kuchiki…"

"I know, at that moment I've lost control. That night… I can't erase."

And Kenpachi understood. Everything, so clearly it was like the answers were just ogling at him silly all this while. It was not that elusive… he got it.

Byakuya's bedroom resonated with quiet moans and grunts of passion. Their bodies collided, their limbs entangled. They took it slow, Kenpachi filling Byakuya to the hilt and thrusting with care, slowly bringing them both to an inevitable climax. And then Kenpachi extracted himself, only to bow low to take Byakuya in his mouth. He worked the flaccid organ to its rigid glory; his tongue caressing the length with loving intention… and evidences of wanton pleasure erupted from its velvety tip. Then Kenpachi penetrated the panting body again, this time driving in hard and fast.

Byakuya surrendered his body. From the start he knew his body was betraying his loyalty to Hisana. It was a sort of warped logic, in fact maybe this was lacking in that department… as he ejaculated over and over again. Kenpachi's hand roaming over his body, Kenpachi's thumb pinching his nipples, Kenpachi's fingers scissoring his opening, Kenpachi's fist sliding fast along his shaft, Kenpachi's lips upon his jugular, Kenpachi within him… all; all he was conscious of, he allowed them to happen. He allowed Kenpachi to embrace him, riddle his body with kisses and delectable touches.

When the sun peaked in the sky, Kenpachi gave one last thrust and Byakuya bit into his pillow. A new day had come. When they heard footsteps outside on the corridor, Kenpachi removed himself from the younger man. Byakuya could feel the other man's seeds seeping out, so he now knew the sex would be forever carved into his memory. They shared one last fiery kiss before Kenpachi ended it with a chaste one over Byakuya's forehead – for all the good lucks and well wishes in the world maybe. Then they dressed in silence and kept it hushed until Kenpachi finally pulled the rice-papered door open. Sun light streamed into the room and the fresh chirping of canaries could be heard from the lush trees.

"This is goodbye, Kuchiki."


	3. Chapter 3

It was summer again; the sun was sweltering and the sky was clear. Byakuya looked up into it and watched a bird fly pass him. It was carrying a piece of hay in its little beak, no doubt for its own little abode up a tree. He only averted his gaze to a lower level when someone was calling out for him.

"Byakuya-sama! Ill news indeed!"

One of his tenth-seated officers was jogging towards him. There was an unfurled scroll flagging from his grasp. When he came to stop in front of his superior, he doubled over and was wheezing, his words coming through in chops.

"_Hah_… orders from… Chamber 46… _hah_…"

Deeming that his subordinate needed air more direly than conveying a message, Byakuya took liberty at retrieving the paper himself and glanced over it. The moment his eye caught the name "Kuchiki Rukia", he read everything once more, this time making sure to absorb each word. By the time he lower the scroll, the officer survey Byakuya with concern – his eyes darting back and forth from the man before him to the paper in his lax grip.

"Back to your position," Byakuya ordered hoarsely.

He was not entirely aware of the man whisking away from the vicinity. All he knew was how fast his heart was thumping against his ribcage and how hot the blood pounding in his ear felt.

Kuchiki Rukia was to be sentenced to death by the Soukyoku in a month's time. Her crime: For sharing powers with a mere mortal by the name of Kurosaki Ichigo.

-----

"Something's not right with Taichou… he looks lost…"

"Well, it's expected isn't it?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Haven't you heard? _That_ Kuchiki Rukia is convicted for giving her shinigami powers to some guy in the Real World."

"Eh? I thought it's only some bunch of rumors…"

"It's real all right, oh – good morning, Taichou."

The chattering stopped at Byakuya's glare. He need not put in much effort to render an area of ten meter radius silent – and this time, given his foul mood after receiving intelligence of Rukia's sentence only enhanced his intimidation. Renji did not dare to approach his Captain save for really important business, so he spent most of the time watching his superior from a far corner. Byakuya was a man of few words on normal occasions. But this time, Renji reckoned he had not even spoken more than five words in a sentence.

By lunch, those of Sixth Division who had dealt with their Captain were more than happy to get away from the headquarters for a while.

"Yo, Abarai."

Renji gagged on his tea when he was greeted out of the blue in a jam-packed restaurant where he and five others were seated at a table. He turned back to look at the caller and almost knocked his bowl of rice over at the sight of one tall Zaraki Kenpachi. The latter had his hand raised in the air; a tuft of pink was poking out from his back.

"Zaraki-taichou…"

Yachiru waved at Renji too but had climbed off Kenpachi a second later to run after a waitress selling sweet buns on a trolley. Renji stood up to meet his ex-Captain and bowed slightly.

"Nice seeing you here, Abarai. Lunching with your mates I see…"

There was something in his tone that suggested mild amusement and Renji failed to see why it should be present. He raised an eyebrow which Kenpachi noticed.

"I thought you'll be out there banging on Sou-taichou's office door demanding explanation or something. "

"And why would I be doing that?" asked Renji who now sounded just as amused.

"You haven't heard?"

The table where members of the Sixth Division sat at suddenly became very quiet. Everyone was regarding Kenpachi charily. Deeply disturbed by the foreboding question, Renji asked, "Heard of what exactly?"

"Kuchiki Rukia's sentence. She's going straight to Soukyoku in a month."

Renji then found himself striding angrily not towards the First Division's headquarters but back to his own. Byakuya's personal office was gleaming brightly like a beacon in the dark – in his mind at least – and he lost count of how many strangers he had bumped into in his urgency to get to Byakuya.

"Taichou!"

The doors flung open and Renji entered the space without so much as an invitation from his superior. Byakuya was clearly not pleased.

"You should be showing some respect –"

"Taichou!" Renji pressed on, ignoring Byakuya's stern gaze. "You should've told me – Rukia – she –"

"In that case you need not worry." Then Byakuya stood up. Without the slightest change in his manner of speech, he continued, "The authorities are gathering evidences to her advantage. With time, the sentence will be dropped if not lightened –"

The table shook under Renji's slamming fist.

"Taichou! Do you honestly think the _authority_ will work to our favor? I know it – Rukia's innocent! All those talk about how big her crime is… no, Taichou. You have the power to change her fate, haven't you? Try to get her out of this mess… she doesn't deserve death!"

"Does she?"

"Taichou!"

Renji was positively shaking. He was gripping the sides of the table so strongly his knuckles were almost white. But Byakuya was still keeping his icy demeanor and replied, "Am I correct to assume that you are suggesting me to bend our laws to keep her alive?"

"Of course –"

"She will be if she has not done wrong. Our laws are absolute, Renji. Rukia should understand it better; a Kuchiki upholds the rules set by our forefathers –"

"She's your sister!"

Byakuya's unfathomable expression wavered. He cast his eyes downwards where he could see his own shadow dark against the light brownish floorboard.

"She's your sister… doesn't that mean anything to you?"

And Byakuya quietly turned his back against his Lieutenant. From his mouth, he heard the detached voice coming through as if he had not spoken it himself.

"No."

-----

"Really?"

Kenpachi stopped scribbling on a document and send it flying across the table where it joined a heap of similar looking pieces of paper. Ignoring Yumichika's disgruntled "Taichou, you can't put this in the 'completed' pile if you haven't completed it yet" Kenpachi jabbed at Ikkaku's direction with his quill.

"Just wanna make it clear; repeat what you just told me."

"Kuchiki Rukia's sentence is to be carried out as planned – whoa, Taichou! Where're you going?"

Kenpachi was not particularly bothered with the sentence. Sure it was not every day the Soukyoku would be awakened to tear some shinigami's soul apart and Rukia was not really dear to him, but he thought she was to a certain someone… and right now, he was going to force entry into that certain someone's office.

As expected, his appearance in the pristine courtyard caused a slight uproar in the Sixth Division.

"He's not here to challenge Taichou again, is he?"

"Or us. Though it's been years…"

"Oi, you there!" Kenpachi pointed brusquely at a couple of whispering ladies. They squeaked and stuttered, "Za – Zaraki-taichou!"

"Where's your Captain?"

"I – I believe he's in the study room… if he's not in his office… that's where he always –"

"Right, thanks," and without another glance at the humble mass of people accumulating in the square, he strode off along the inner hallways. He found the office occupied on his first look so tentatively, he knocked on the door.

"Enter."

And so he did. Byakuya's reaction the moment he set eye on Kenpachi was quite discouraging; he was as appalled as if a ghost had just walked into his room. Kenpachi looked over his shoulder and spotted a small group of officers huddled along the wall. He sighed – so his stunt some fifteen years back had not set well with these people even after all these times, huh?

"Leave. Grant us some privacy," Byakuya spoke clearly. Then he motioned for Kenpachi to close the door. The office was again drowsed in silence. After the footsteps outside faded into non-existence, Byakuya exhaled slowly, sliding back to the bookcase he was previously consulting.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of having you in this office, Zaraki-taichou?"

"It's about Kuchiki Rukia," he cut straight into business.

"And I didn't know she's familiar with the Captain of the Eleventh Division."

The table shook; this time it was Kenpachi's fist banging hard onto the surface. Byakuya looked vaguely at the furniture before returning to the book that was held open in his palms.

"Many people have made it a habit to manhandle my desk lately. If only they have some good reasons for it instead of sudden inability to keep their temper under control… and I presume you belong to that category as well?"

"What… in the world had happened to you, Kuchiki?"

For the second time, Byakuya lifted his head from his book. When he returned to the pages, they somehow appeared to be blank. None registered, their importance suddenly dispersing, shaded by Kenpachi's rare display of emotional vulnerability. Further attempt to read the paragraphs would be meaningless, so Byakuya replaced it in the shelf and said nothing.

"That girl may be nobody to me, but she is everything to you, isn't she?"

Kenpachi waited for a reply, anything, but nothing came. Byakuya remained mute as ever.

"The Kuchiki Byakuya I know places his family above everything else. Or did I read you wrongly back then? I don't like the way you're skulking in your office like a coward when your sister's going to be dead in a couple of weeks."

"You think I have not tried?"

Kenpachi could see rage burning in the cold features. The beast within him had been roused.

"You think, given my position as the Head of my clan and the Captain of this division, I have not exhausted all possible options to get Rukia off the death list? You think I sit idle here, evading responsibilities as her adopted brother?"

"Well, seeing how things are going at this pace, I'm inclined to think that way."

"… So be it."

"That is not good enough!"

Kenpachi left the table and made for the other Captain. He was almost going to reach for the shoulders – wanting to shake some sense into the idiot – but his steps faltered when he thought he saw Byakuya tremble a little at his advances.

"Are you all right?" he asked before he could stop himself. Byakuya merely turned his back against him, but apart from that he acted as if he had not heard the question at all.

"You told me fifteen years ago of your late wife," Kenpachi started, his voice gruff. He was invoking an unpleasant memory, something Byakuya might have long buried under his busyness at work. "We gave up on everything that night when you made it clear how much she meant to you. I understood; that is why I can let go. And you gave me the impression that anyone family is above everything. I don't think it's changed."

He took a step forward.

"Your sister is family. You claimed to not have forsaken her. Seem to me you aren't trying hard enough."

"You do not understand…"

"What do I not understand? She's family, someone important, someone you love. That's all that matters."

He took another step forward. Byakuya was within reach.

"No it isn't."

"Get off it, would you – you always complicate things."

"This is exactly why I see it pointless to confide to you, Zaraki!" And Byakuya spun around. He looked just as pale as Kenpachi remembered when he found the younger man in his ancestor's room that night.

"I am not in the position to do as freely as I would like to! I am bound to our rules! By my oaths… by my promises… and I will keep them!"

"Bullshit. Are you telling me you can't try harder for your sister for fear of breaking these rules? And are you telling me you regret our nights together because you simply swore your loyalty to your late wife? Because of the rules? The oaths? The promises?"

"Enough of this conversation. Get out of my office."

"Not again, Kuchiki!"

This time, Kenpachi really made for a grab at the other man. Logic told him that Byakuya might just hurl him across the room but instincts dictated him to keep a good hold on the thin arms.

"Stop _running away_, damn it! You're insulting me if you say all you care is the rules! So your wife means nothing to you but someone you've professed undying love for? And your sister… so she's done something wrong, and you're willing to deliver her personally to the chopping block because the law says so? Are you telling me that, huh?"

"Hands off, Zaraki!"

"You're royally pissing me off – you mean to tell me all those things you told me fifteen years back were lies? Damn – look me in the eye and tell me in my face!"

"You know nothing of my circumstances!"

His shoving against Kenpachi's chest was more successful this time. The latter knocked into the paper-laden table sending heaps of scrolls rolling over the surface. Both paid no notice to them as they littered the floor.

"I'm not as righteous as you make out to be."

Kenpachi blinked at the other man. Then he deadpanned, "You're not making any sense –"

His voice trailed away as his brain froze at what he thought Byakuya was doing. Byakuya was undoing the knot of his sash that was holding his shihakushou together. They slide off his shoulders like water to reveal unmarred, pale skin. He had grown slightly thinner over the years but the torso was still as well-sculptured as ever. Then his fingers dipped into his hakama, undoing the fasteners before it too come off to join the pool of clothing on the floor. Byakuya then remained stationary, naked, his fists balling by his sides.

"Look at me, Zaraki," he said softly. "This body… no longer obeys me. I remind myself of my wife, of the vow I took before our ancestors with her, yet this is what happens…"

His eyelids slid down as his fingers caressed the underside of his semi-flaccid shaft.

"When I'm with you… even if I fill my thoughts with her, there is no stopping…"

The shaft had gained its rigidness under Byakuya's half-hearted ministrations. All along he had his gaze fixated on Kenpachi and the excitement had all went southward. Kenpachi could not look away.

"It kills me. No matter how hard I try, I always react."

He bit his lower lips. The moan that had threatened to escape now disguised as a fading sigh.

"And Rukia… if I heed not the properness of my conduct as Head of the Kuchiki house, I would have broken into her cell and take her away the second I was told of her sentence… send her somewhere safe… twice, Zaraki… twice I would have failed myself if I forsake my oaths, my promises."

Then Byakuya leaned back into bookcase. He tore his eyes from Kenpachi's resolute ones. Why do they burn?

"I'm not stanch enough to keep what I had sworn to. Before I go deeper, is it not better to just… stop? See what I am now, Zaraki. A disgrace… let me have this one chance to salvage what pride I have left."

"At the expanse of your sister's life?" murmured Kenpachi.

"I have faith in our judicial system. And there is still time…"

Then Kenpachi stooped before Byakuya. The latter held his breath in and it took Kenpachi a while to realise that Byakuya's erection stood proudly directly in front of his face. But he had also detected a sliver of unwillingness on Byakuya's part – as steadfast as he projected himself to be. So Kenpachi collected the black robes from the floor and draped them over the younger man.

"You should be crueler…" Byakuya had said into Kenpachi's chest when he was pulled into a comforting embrace. He thought the taller man had not heard. He was wrong.

-----

That was their final meeting towards the end of Kuchiki Rukia's numbered days. Kenpachi reluctantly found himself counting down to "the day" – by right it should mean nothing to him shouldn't it? – and he told Yumichika that the day circled on the calendar represented his annual dental appointment, the side of his mouth twitching as he said so. He waited and waited but the date of the execution remained put. When the hell butterflies announced that the date had indeed been _pushed forward, _Kenpachi was just as shocked as some other Captains who had known Rukia more than an acquaintance. What had Byakuya been doing all these while? The procedures might take a little longer than usual… but _pushed forward?_ If Byakuya had been doing anything at all, it had been counterproductive.

And then the day came. Kenpachi steered clear of the matter – and Rukia's sentence was not the only sensational news out there. Aizen-taichou's death had raised quite the pandemonium within the barriers of Seireitei. And what with the uncalled arrival of several ryoka, Kenpachi had his hands full. He finally met that interesting ryoka boy, Kurosaki Ichigo; the boy whom Rukia was sentenced to death for. Then early in the evening, Kenpachi heard news of the final siege at the execution location. High on top of the hill, he learned about the congregation of many Captains on an unplanned mission to capture the traitor Aizen Sousuke who was not dead after all. It appeared to be a unanimous decision – though Kenpachi had not taken part in it – yet the joined forces of several Divisions failed to the stop Aizen from escaping to Hueco Mundou. Too bad… but Kenpachi had suddenly become more curious when he was informed of the casualty count. His heart was palpitating though he know not why, and it was confirmed when he heard the names of those critically injured on the battleground.

"Komamura-taichou… Abarai-fuku taichou… and ah, Kuchiki-taichou. All three have survived their surgeries but Kuchiki-taichou had yet to regain consciousness – Zaraki-taichou! Where're you going?"

-----

"Get out of my way! Move it you slowpokes!"

"Zaraki-taichou! This is the hospital! Stop screaming –"

"You! You know don't you?"

Kenpachi was flinging himself down the walkways and narrow passages at a speed like there is no tomorrow. The many healers and patients blocking his way immediately leaned into the wall, trying to merge into the bricks as Kenpachi zoomed past them. He had viciously turned around a corner and clasped a nurse's shoulders hard. She looked as if she was just about to faint.

"Y – yes, Za – Zaraki-taichou?"

"Where's Kuchiki's room?"

"Hah?"

"Kuchiki Byakuya's room! Where is it?"

"Oh – Kuchiki-taichou is resting in room 427 – Zaraki-taichou, you're not permitted to –"

But Kenpachi had already disappeared up the stairs. He actually flash-stepped to the fourth floor, almost knocking down someone who vaguely looked like Hisagi Shuuhei but did not stop to make sure – the person was already picking himself up from the floor with a scowl – and Kenpachi hurried along to search frantically for room 427.

Most of the rooms along the corridor were brightly illuminated despite the late hours. People keep dropping by to express their gratefulness to the recuperating warriors for not dying and some nurses keep turning up with fresh bandages. Room 427 held no such bustle. It was as peaceful as the occupant's ancestor room had been, dark like the sky outside and hushed like it was not occupied at all. Kenpachi did not bother to knock. He admitted himself in with a curt click of the door behind him.

There was a lone, single bed at the far end of the room by a high window. Its sheer curtain was billowing gently when it caught the cool evening breeze. The side table had a variety of pills and gauzes on it and on the chair beside the bed lay the kenseikan and a slightly bloody shawl. When Kenpachi was near enough to the bed, he looked into the unfazed visage.

Byakuya was very pale, even more than usual and his lips were chapped and whitish. His chest was heavily bandaged and it barely rose whenever he drew breath. Kenpachi thought he was looking at a dead person, but the hitching breaths that broke the rhythmic inhale and exhale proved otherwise. Once in a while, as Kenpachi stood by Byakuya's side, he saw the pallid features contorted briefly in pain before they passed just as swiftly, his deep sleep apparently undisturbed still.

So Kenpachi drew the chair closer and removed the effects lying on the cushion. He sat in it, taking Byakuya's bandaged hand in his and waited… and waited…

-----

Byakuya opened his heavy eyes at the first hint of dawn. He then realised it was not just his eyes that were heavy; every single bone in his battered body was. He had difficulty moving his hand – his nose was itching – and he turned to his left.

There was Kenpachi snoring into the mattress, Byakuya's hand still clasped within his powerful grip.

"Zaraki…"

He clenched his own weak fist as hard as he could but Kenpachi would not wake. There was no stark difference between him and a dead log really, so Byakuya tried to push himself up with his elbow instead. It hurt – a lot – as his ribs were jarred and his wounds stretched, and the worst had got to be the stabbing agony at the left side of his abdomen. He gasped, his free hand pressing at the bandage. He must have thrashed slightly in his bid to command his numbing body because Kenpachi mumbled incoherently just as his large head was lifted from the mattress. The bleary eyes wondered along Byakuya's form.

"Hmm… you're awake… what's wrong – oh no, I'm gettin' someone –"

Kenpachi stood up so quickly the chair almost stumbled backwards but he moved no further when he sensed a shaking hand gripping his wrist.

"Stay…"

"Don't be thick – I'm calling a nurse –"

"They can't do anything –"

"Some painkillers will help I think! Just lie down –"

"This is just part of recuperating. Sit down…"

Byakuya gave Kenpachi's wrist another tug when he saw the latter looking at the door hopefully. Kenpachi finally submitted to Byakuya's request and plopped onto the chair again.

"All right then. Never thought you have a masochistic side in you."

Byakuya smiled as much as his shredded up state would allow and said, "You do that… distract me… for a while just now I thought of getting up to throw you out of my room."

"Yeah… well, glad to see you all better now, Kuchiki," Kenpachi said lightly as his eyes roamed over the bloodstained bandages wrapping Byakuya's shoulders.

They talked into the morning about little things none would normally care enough to mention in a conventional conversation… about rice cakes and tea… and then they started naming the shinigami responsible for all the wounds beneath Byakuya's gauzes. That was easy – the near fatal one was souvenir from Ichimaru Gin and the rest, courtesy of Kurosaki Ichigo.

Kenpachi roared in laughter. "I see you met that ryoka Ichigo too, huh? Strong kid, good heart… would've liked to meet him again."

And Byakuya mumbled something like "speak for yourself…"

Both did not manage to register the noon sun that shines directly above the hospital until the door was knocked once. Byakuya had a nasty suspicion that his visitor would most probably toss his chair towards the door and yell at the person outside to haul his ass away. And he was surprised when Kenpachi merely stood up and leaned into the bed.

Byakuya's breath was stuck in his lungs and his heart thundered in his chest again when Kenpachi closed the distance between them. His dry lips grazed the top of Byakuya's crown and the latter sighed. Now somewhere else inside him hurt – and it somehow felt worse than the blow he had taken from Gin.

"Kuchiki…"

Byakuya's chin was raised and the next thing he knew, Kenpachi sealed his lips with his, the warm tongue caressing his. Byakuya let himself be dominated, washed away in the gentleness of Kenpachi's hands in his dark mane and up his back… and then it ended.

Kenpachi thumbed a string of saliva from Byakuya's lips.

"You don't have to love me, Kuchiki…"

The door opened and Renji showed up at the frame. He was having a tray of Byakuya's lunch and was greeting Kenpachi amicably and thanking him for keeping his Captain accompanied. He did not look any better than Byakuya –almost as mummified in fact – but his spirit was definitely a lot higher that his superior and was gamboling wildly within the perimeter of the sick room.

Kenpachi shut the door behind him as he heard Renji asking his Captain of his wellbeing. Then he exited the hospital and returned to his own Division. He wondered how his men were faring…

-----

Many more months had passed since Aizen left Soul Society. And within those months Captains of all divisions had met and cooperated to re-strengthen Soul Society's security as they were looking forward to another series of war. But even if the future was not as promising, the days still passed peacefully, treacherously, and in the green compound of First Division's headquarters, two tall Captains were about to cross path.

Zaraki Kenpachi who had just returned from a meeting with Sou-taichou cast a small smile across the hallway. Kuchiki Byakuya, his long shawl sweeping before him, did not return the gesture but his features had softened considerably. Their eyes met.

"Zaraki-taichou."

"Yo, Kuchiki-taichou."

Their shoulders brushed past each other. And their footsteps echoed distantly as they walked away, Kenpachi towards the main exit and Byakuya into Yamamoto's office. The hallway was again deserted, its final visitors too busy minding their own business and lives. And the seconds rolled on, its continuum undisturbed by the means and ways of the little people living within it. For the time being, all was well. It was perhaps, an ending most suitable to an unpremeditated affair.


End file.
